10 Ways To Reply I Love You

Tales from a Bored Mind
6 min readOct 6, 2020
  1. God is Good

When Mark had told Erica he loved her, he didn’t know if he meant to say it. She wasn’t mad about God that Erica, but her favourite phrases had God in them. when the words had left his mouth, Erica had looked at him as if she was trying to figure out what he was getting at. Mark had watched her, trying to figure out why he said it. They weren’t exclusive or anything, but he had said it because he liked something about her. Erica had nodded her and said, “God is good” before going back to kissing him.

2. Mad o

Chiagozie had a long list of regrets but none came close to when he told Shalom he loved her. She had paused as if she was waiting for him to retract his statement, but Chiagozie had been determined to show her how serious he was about the love that was threatening to drown him. Shalom had laughed when it became clear that he wasn’t going to take the statement back. The laugh was loud and lasted for a while. For months, Chiagozie sat up abruptly in the middle of the night, the ringing of Shalom’s laugh was the soundtrack of his nightmares. Sometimes, he still saw her nod and say, “mad o.”

3. Don’t

The reply was quick, not even a thought given to the words. Stephanie did calculations as she walked home, playing the scene over and over in her head.

Her: Ebube, I love you.

Ebube *before the you fell from her mouth*: Don’t!

Stephanie stopped walking and closed her eyes, the word bouncing in her head. She tapped her foot on the floor. She had poured her heart into those words, using words she was sure would melt hearts. And all he said was…

She hit her head with a fist. “Ah, na me fuck up.”

4. Move On

Richard wasn’t sure if she heard. She kept tapping her hand on the desk and looking at the door their waiter went through. There was no indication that she had heard. He had expected her to stop tapping but she didn’t and the tempo didn’t slow or rise. She just sat there staring and tapping the hunger away. Richard took a deep breath.

“I said –”

“I heard you.” When she looked at him, there was a frown etched on her face, “move on.”

5. About Time

Lisa’s ‘I love you’ came in a whisper and Dele’s heart had stopped for a split second and when it picked up again, it hammered loudly, thrashing around to let out the smile Dele was trying to push down. Her eyes were fixed on the floor and he took a step closer, “I didn’t hear well, what did you say?”

She drew a deep breath and he hoped she wouldn’t change her mind. “I said… I said I love you.”

Dele didn’t want to push his luck. He raised her face to look at him and he grinned. “About damn time.”

He kissed her, a #GodWhen becoming a #CoupleGoals.

6. Thank You/Thank God

Shedrach was all about honesty and he could honestly say he loved Faith with all his heart. There were reasons why people didn’t profess their love, Shedrach had the list, he knew the list by heart. But knowing the list didn’t stop his heart from shattering. Coco had come over so they could spend time together and gist.

“Thank you,” she had said and asked if he had heard AG Baby’s new album, pulling her phone from her purse as she gushed about the album.

7. Until When?

When Rose had told Isa she loved him, he was sitting on the three-sitters in his apartment, a green apple in hand. He had taken a bite of the apple after she had confessed her feelings and was gazing at him with hope and possible love. Isa had his doubt. He knew the type of face he had, throw his body into the mix, his voice and personality and it was the recipe for making girls confess love like it was nobody’s business. He had heard those lines so many times. But then it was Rose and hadn’t he liked her longer than all the previous girls. He took his time chewing his apple and Rose fixed a smile on her face, waiting.

Isa swallowed at last, “Until when?”

“What?”

“For how long will the love last so I can gauge the level of love and energy I’m going to invest if this becomes a relationship.”

Rose shook her head, “I mean, how do you feel about me?”

Isa looked at the apple, “I feel like it doesn’t matter how long you intend to love me, I’d still be heartbroken. Like I’ve been where you were looking for shelter in some other man. I feel like it’ll end in tears for me but I am willing to suffer through it. That’s how I feel about you.”

8. What have you done now?

The article had said to shower your wife with care. Make her meals, massage her, place light kisses on her face, make her feel sixteen all over again. Ayo would have never read that article if he hadn’t seen his brother and his wife-to-be together acting like they were the first to have partners. It had brought back memories of what was and he wanted that again with Anita. He took the articles advice and cooked her dinner. It was the type of dinner that had candles and a bottle of wine. No expenses were spared in the rewooing.

Anita came back and the second she stepped into the house, he rushed to collect her bag. Anita looked at the table and then back at him.

“What happened? What have you done now?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

Anita laughed and Ayo pursed his lip and watched her closely.

“Devil, you’re a liar. You lie,” she turned to him. “Ayo, don’t make me shout. I don’t know what you’ve done, but I know you’ve done something. So before the story gets to me, go and rectify it. I don’t even want to hear the gist outside. Let’s not be mad in this our marriage. He say it’s do something nice for me.”

Ayo wondered if he should have gotten his advice from a Nigerian site.

9. Do you really?

“Love is nothing but a chemical reaction in your brain. You’ve attached me to an image and idea that you believe will bring you a height of happiness. I could say I love you and not be wrong in the same way you’re not wrong when you say you love me. It’s something you’ve convinced yourself is true and that is okay. Now, while this is exciting. I’m going to decline your request to pursue your said love for me and be your boyfriend. I’m trying to preserve our friendship because if you lose me or I lose you, life would be difficult for both of us. So, let’s not complicate what doesn’t need complications. Snap out of it, our hearts are unreliable.”

10. I love me too

“I mean I get where you’re coming from. I know why you love me, I’m a loveable person. You love me, my parents love me as do my siblings. I love me too. My ex keeps calling me and he’s always like, ‘I still love you.’ And I’m like, ‘we’re never getting back together.’ Your love for me is what a light breeze is to a fired cannon. Absolutely useless, but I thank you for loving me and commend you for telling me about it. Honestly, your love doesn’t excite me. see you later.”

Ebuka watched her walk away. It was a shame she felt that way but there was truly nothing he could do about it. He pulled out the note he had with him and struck off her name. Next on the list was Hilda and he had seen her head to the restaurant down the street. He grabbed his stuff and headed to the restaurant. One of the girls on the list had to date him. He was tired of retweeting and liking tweets with #GodWhen.

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