Growing up in Public Eyes
In Nigeria, most children are public property. What this means is you belong to everyone, and they’re watching you, waiting for the perfect opportunity to slap you for being rude, or doing something out of the societal norm. Before you know what is happening, there’s a chain of people watching you, looking for tales to tell when next they call home. “You won’t believe who I saw Naza with.” “You won’t believe where I saw Naza.” “Is Naza allowed to wear this?”
A million eyes watching your every move and you can’t tell which relative or friend and or friends of family live where, or called to say you screwed up.
Growing up in public eyes is necessary because it helps you develop useful and important skills and abilities which include:
1. Location Awareness: This skill keeps you on high alert. You need to know where each person who knows you and your parents live. It’d be highly disastrous if you ever forget where basket-mouth Aunty Amaka stays. The day you forget it and run into her, your parents will be waiting with flogs and questionnaires for when you get home. I can hear your cries from over here.
2. Face memorization: This skill is all about meeting people and remembering what they look like. So last week, Uncle Franklin brought a girl home? You need her face etched into your memory like a horror movie you're unable to forget. You don’t want to forget what your next Private investigator looks like. Also, knowing where she lives is necessary. You can’t afford to go running into enemy lines.
3. Voice memorization: Voice memorization is equally important. Keep in mind that voices are similar, so knowing if your neighbour sounds like a spoilt generator, or an opera singer going horribly off-key is highly important. You might hate your neighbour’s voice, but you need to know it. Every single thing about that voice needs to be committed to your memory. You cannot afford to walk beside Tunde if Mama Sekinat is talking to someone right behind you. You're too precious to die, and that too by flogging and shouting.
4. Good lying skills: Before you got home yesterday, someone had already called to inform your parents that they saw you in the other part of town. You need to be able to insist that whomever Cousin Samuel saw wasn’t and couldn’t be you because you were at Freda’s house the entire time. Back your story up by insisting they call Freda. Also, go ahead to complain about being mistrusted, but be careful not to overdo it.
5. Neutral expressions: “Does your mother know you’re here?” DO NOT GIVE ANYTHING AWAY! Keep your expression as neutral as you can. Don’t give nosy Mama Sekinat’s friend the chance to report you, because she thinks being Mama Sekinat’s friend has granted her membership into you extraordinary league of monitoring spirits.
And above all;
6. Have a virtue. It is important for people to believe you when you say you didn’t do something, or you weren’t in a certain scene.
MAY THE FORCES BE WITH YOU!
